Still Gone

Carey and the girls are still gone at their campout, and Mia is asleep (has been for almost three hours.) It's 9:30pm and I'm sitting here at the kitchen table sipping a Malibu and Diet Coke that I made for myself. Yum. That's my favorite drink. I was introduced to the deliciousness of Malibu Rum many years ago by my friend Melissa's husband Jerry while in Vegas, and haven't discovered anything that I like better since then.

Tomorrow is Father's Day.




I am so lucky and blessed to be married to the most wonderful, amazing husband and father. Carey absolutely loves his girls and would do anything for them. But this day still brings me back to thoughts of my own father. Yes, he is still alive, and no, I have no contact with him. Many, many years ago, when I was merely five years old, my parents divorced. He was cheating on my mom, and had been doing so for years. They tried to make it work, to no avail. He moved away to Utah with wife #2 (he's on wife #4) and has not lived in California since. That was in 1976.

Since then I've seen him only a handful of times, and in the last 17 years I think I've spoken to him three times. I often wonder what he thinks about on Father's Day. Does he think about his kids? Me? Does he have any regrets? Does he think about his grandkids that he doesn't know one lick of anything about? Is he sorry? Does he wish he had a relationship with me? These are just a smidgen of all the questions I wish I could ask him. It probably will never happen, but on this eve of Father's Day 2008, I wonder.