Hard Life

Sarah last night: "You just don't get it. You don't know how hard my life is."

I guess being seven years old is much harder than being six!

Dear Grace and Sarah,

It's 11:16pm right now, and I was about to cozy up in bed after a really fantastic birthday with you. I looked up at the clock, and when I saw that it was exactly the time you were born seven years ago, I had to sit down and write to you. Seven years ago today, you were so cruelly pulled from my belly ten weeks early in the hopes of saving my life. My body was pre-eclamptic, and the doctors felt that it was too unsafe to leave you in the warm comforts of my belly. When they wheeled me into the OR, my blood pressure was 220/140, dangerously high. We didn't know if you were going to survive, or if you would have lifelong struggles due to your prematurity. First they pulled you out first, Grace, and the team of doctors and nurses immediately began working on you. You didn't cry. You had to be intubated and rushed off to the NICU. One minute later, at 11:17pm, they pulled you out, Sarah, and you surprised us when you let out a slight whimper. They brought you to me and you looked at me for just a couple of seconds before they whisked you off to the NICU. You could breathe on your own and only had to have oxygen coming through your nose. It was nearly two days before I got to see you both in person. You daddy was visiting you every couple of hours, and coming back and giving me updates. I wasn't able to visit you until my body stabilized. I barely remember the first time getting wheeled into the NICU, the first time laying my eyes on your precious faces and tiny bodies, but I do remember the profound feeling of love that I had never felt before. I wanted so desperately to hold you, to tell you I loved you, and to put you back into my belly where you would be safe and healthy. I was so afraid for the future, as we had no idea what it would hold for you and us. I wanted, dreamed of, and hoped for you to survive and be okay. And look at you today!! You two are the most amazing, wonderful, smart, sweet girls and I am so blessed to have you in my life. I will never forget your humble beginnings, and will forever be grateful for God's hand upon your development seven years ago. You are two miracles!! I love you with all of my heart, and can't imagine life without you. Happy 7th birthday, Grace and Sarah!!